Dear Facebook, WTF?

I’ve been getting a lot Facebook messages lately from young single women of color who desperately want to be my friend: Dora, Rosalind, Baha, Kate... It’s like the bad old days of penis enlargement emails and Nigerian royalty inheritance scams.  Why is this happening? Is the Facebook Privacy & Security team on vacation? Oh, right: What privacy and security? I forgot that free social networking companies are in the business violating my privacy and selling my security to the highest bidder.

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I Don't Do Fun, I Do Comedy!

Murph & Ray Garvey  - NY Daily News

So, I’m casually flipping through The New York Daily News last week when I saw an old familiar face: Ray Garvey. The headline read: “‘Fame’ for Brooklyn’s ‘great guy’: Athlete, cop, actor, funnyman.” Ray was being posthumously inducted into the Brooklyn Softball Hall of Fame. He was only 52-years-old when he died from cancer. Funny, I never thought I’d get to the point in my life when the phrase “only 52” would come out of my mouth. As my eyes welled up with tears I thought: Has Ray really been gone for three years? I remember going to the wake and it seemed like a New York City comedy industry Who’s Who. It was only fitting. Not only did Ray have many friends but he’d also given opportunities to a lot of people. I was one of them.

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Harriet Tubman Sex Tape? Say What, Now?

Harriet Tubman

Russell Simmons’ YouTube channel, All Def Digital, posted a video called the “Harriet Tubman Sex Tape.” When this story first flashed across my newsfeed I was pretty sure I hadn't read it right. The words were English but they just didn't make any sense. Harriet Tubman Sex Tape? What? You can see how these words in such close and unexpected proximity can fog the mind.

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Real Life Math Problem; A Lesson Over Coffee at Dunkin Donuts

Image courtesy of nattavut
at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Okay, let me set the scene. I’m at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. I’ve ordered a medium hot coffee, light, and sweet.  It came to $2.16. I hand the kid $3.00. As he’s making change I find 20 cents (two dimes) and try to give it to him. He looks at me in a panic – my receipt already in his hand – shakes his head, and says: “No, it’s too late.”

I say, “No. No it isn’t.”

He says, “Okay” and hands me 75 cents. 

What?

Now it’s my turn to panic. Not because he gave me the wrong change but because he knew it was wrong and had no idea how to fix it. None. I could see it in his face. <~ Tweet This!

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Borg on a Budget

Image courtesy of
imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

New York City has toughened its hands-free driving laws. Now the penalty for fondling your phone while driving is five points on your license and up to $400 in fines. So, this was not the best time for my Bluetooth earpiece to break.  Well technically it still works. What broke is the plastic part that fits around your ear to hold the device in place. I don’t mean to sound all conspiracy theory but I think the manufacturers hope the flimsy part breaks so you’ll buy a brand new earpiece. They’re banking that most people won’t go through the trouble of trying replace the part that loops around their ears. What the hell is that part even called?

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What Did You Think of the Zimmerman Verdict?

PHOTO BY LEIGHANN LORD

People have asked me what I thought about The George Zimmerman Verdict. What is there to think? A Black child is dead and nobody’s going to jail for it. It’s not exactly what I would call a feel good moment. At first I thought they wanted my personal opinion about the case. They didn’t. They wanted comedic commentary, some hint of humor that might help the healing begin. Translation: Hey Leighann, got jokes?

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(That's right. I read my blog to you and you'll love it.)