Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Leighann Lord Joins Team iPhone

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono
at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
In a stunning year-end move, comedian and tech nerd Leighann Lord has joined Team iPhone, effectively ending her more than decade-long relationship with Research in Motion’s BlackBerry. Whether it was the Pearl, the Curve or the BlackBerry Bold, all of her phones have been plagued with problems including random data deletions and frequent battery pulls. “I saw the spinning watch icon so often,” said Ms. Lord, “That I thought it was my wall paper.”

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Rug Rats

If I could I would live in a sterile, hermetically-sealed bubble decked out like an IKEA flagship store display. And then there's my car. It doesn’t rise to the level of the TV show “Hoarders,” but it’s somehow become a repository for boxes, comedy merchandise and umbrellas. None of this, however, explains the rancid odor that took up residence in my car last week. It smelled like a cranky toddler shat in my glove compartment.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Christmas Shopping Again? Didn’t We Just Do This?

This post is a new and improved version of an older post. Enjoy!

Christmas comes on the same day every year and yet it always seems to take me by surprise.  One minute I’m at a Memorial Day picnic contentedly chomping on a burger, the next I’m sniffling through “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  Where does the time go? And, as if to help us, stores are putting up Christmas decorations earlier and earlier.  Soon, I expect to see a sweaty Santa in a wife-beater tee-shirt selling back to school supplies in a shameless yet ingenious display of cross-promotional advertising.

School bells ring
Are you listenin’?
It’s still summer
Santa’s glistenin’

Thursday, December 1, 2011

How I Spent Black Friday, Really

I can’t prove it, but I’d be willing to bet that the murder rate escalates around the holidays. I confess I had manslaughter on my mind when I went to Wal-mart on Black Friday. Yeah, you heard me. I went to Wal-Mart on Black Friday. All I needed was one thing: a screen protector for my iPod. What I got was my feelings hurt.