Wednesday, December 17, 2014

There is No Spoon: A Pre-Christmas Story

Image courtesy of cuteimage
One of the most well-known scenes from the Matrix is when Neo is told, “There is no spoon.” We can while away an afternoon discussing what that means, but the gist of it is: reality is not what it seems. A recent mind-bender for me was opening my silverware drawer and seeing that indeed, there were no spoons. Where the hell did all my spoons go?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Life in the NYC Slow Lane

The 25 Miles Per Hour Speed Limit is Killing Me

I am a Native New Yorker. That’s not a typo. It should to be capitalized. It’s not pride in an accident of birth but it’s staying here long after many friends and family members have pulled up stakes and moved to more hospitable climes. I survived 9/11, the mortgage meltdown, and a nanny mayor who would be king. I survived a house fire, Hurricane Sandy, and the Polar Vortex. But New York City’s 25 miles per hour speed limit has got me thinking about packing my bags.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Returning to My Theatre Roots

Before I did stand-up comedy I did theatre. Being in the wrong place at the right time landed me the role of Lola Le’Dare, Hot Box Girl, in a college production of Guys and Dolls. It was my first time acting on stage and by first time I mean we are going to completely overlook my Kindergarten stint as Mother Goose.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Why Do I Have to Share?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles
I was standing in line at the grocery store. In front of me was a mother with her eight-year old son. He had talked her into buying him candy but his victory wasn’t so sweet. She said, “Okay, I’ll buy it, but you have to share.” Ahh, a gift with strings attached. There’s always a catch, especially when you’re a kid.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

No Pizza, No Cry

If You Have to Ask, You Can’t Afford It

I’m in a quandary. I want new stores and services to come into my neighborhood, but I get nervous when they do. I can’t help but wonder, is this how the gentrification starts? Starbucks, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods and pale people in skinny jeans pretty much signal the beginning of the end in any neighborhood-of-color here in New York City. But Pizza Hut didn’t seem too threatening. I was actually glad to see it give some competition to Domino's, Papa John’s, and Little Caesar’s.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Born Again Workaholic: 8 Ways to Curb Your Workaholism

Image courtesy of Prakairoj
Summer is almost over. You might be on vacation, about to leave, or just coming back. Maybe you – clutch the pearls – haven’t taken any time off this year yet and don’t plan to. Take it from the woman who just took her first vacay ever: this is a bad move. You’re important but you are not indispensible. And you’re even better when you’ve had a break from the daily grind. So, from one workaholic to another here are eight ways to dial it back a notch:

  1. Cut your to do list in half, then half it again so you can see and do what’s really important. Let the rest go. It’s not getting done anyway.
  2. Stop trying to do “just one more thing.”
  3. Stop working until you pass out in front of your computer.
  4. If you set an alarm to get up for work, maybe you need to set one to stop.
  5. If you have sick time, use it. Don’t be a hero. And yes, mental health days count. (If you’re job doesn’t give you sick time, go to work, infect everybody, and force the company to change its policy. Think of it as the real meaning of going viral.)
  6. Take a real grown-up vacation, not just a weekend.
  7. Have your non-workaholic friends do an intervention. Tell them to remind you how much more productive you are after taking time off.
  8. Remember that working hard doesn’t mean working yourself to death. Dying at your desk is no way to go. And no, your funeral doesn’t count as a vacation.

Now go play. Go on. I mean it. Don’t make me get up.

The Urban Erma, the longest running column on, was created and written by stand-up comedian Leighann LordListen to the podcast on iTunes and Stitcher RadioWatch the video edition on YouTube.comIf you enjoy The Urban Erma please leave a comment, Like it on Facebook, follow on Twitter, And share it with your friends. (Share it with people who are not your friends and maybe they will be.)