Here’s to the Estrogen Weekend
Back in the day, I used to hang out with My Girls like we had all the time in the world. And we did. We had time to go to class, parties, step shows, and community service projects. We had time to take road trips to do more of the same. It was awesome. When we weren’t road tripping, we sat up all night and talked about our plans. We mapped out who we were going to be, what we were going to do, and how fast we were going to do it. And I think it has indeed gone by quicker than we ever thought possible.
It’s been a blur of graduations, relocations, grad school applications and acceptances; job offers and layoffs. There have been break-ups, engagements, showers, weddings, pregnancies, babies, miscarriages, and funerals, not always in that order. There have been new homes, new husbands, more babies, new jobs, more schooling and suddenly, the crew that was together 24/7 had to whip out calendars to figure out a time for our next get together — minimum six months out — which one or more of us would invariably miss.
We kept in touch for the important things though: a birthday card here, an anniversary text there, and almost always a Christmas card and photo of the growing family. The occasional phone calls were cherished and our conversations seemed to pick up effortlessly right where we'd left off with promises to talk again soon. Soon would be a year hence if we were lucky. We were doing what we were supposed to be doing. We were living our lives, the way we’d planned them or not.
Thankfully we all tried to remain each other’s touch stones. Emails, lunches, dinners — because sometimes, the older the friendship, the more important it is to keep it. It's vital to have someone in your life who knew you when.
- Someone who knew you when you learned why mixing drinks is a bad idea.
- Someone who remembers when the biggest decision you had to make was what you were going to wear to the party that He was going to be at, so He would be sure to notice you while you were ignoring Him. (This same person will remember when He broke your heart and when you broke a few hearts of your own.)
- Someone who remembers how happy you were when you got your dream job and then six months later talked you through the pros and cons of killing your boss versus just quitting.
I don't have blood sisters — I suspect my parents realized that one of me was more than enough — but what I share with My Girls is deeper than DNA. I know most of them from college. We were women, or at least we thought we were. But now I find myself amazed at how truly grown we’ve all become, the storms we have weathered, the responsibilities we’ve shouldered, the accomplishments we’ve achieved.
I recently got to spend time away with some of them. One volunteered her home, dates were set aside, travel plans were made, baby-sitting secured, and as many of us as could manage we spent a wonderful weekend away from our jobs, husbands, boyfriends, pets, and kids. And do you know what we did? Nothing! Absolutely, blissfully nothing — well, until I found out we were 10 minutes away from an outlet mall — but other than that, nothing. The sisterhood, sharing, serenity, and shopping were much needed.
The hot wings, wine, and multiple shots of moonshine didn’t hurt either.
I've only lately discovered the illuminating powers of alcohol. You see, I wasted my college days being a good girl: going to class, being in monogamous relationships, being sober. It's so sad. And so I have recently learned that six shots of moonshine makes you rather insightful, introspective, and dare I say a tad bit belligerent as symbolized by our constant refrain that weekend:
"I'm A Grown Ass Woman. Leave Me The Hell Alone!"
You know I'm putting that on a tee-shirt, right?
Spending time with My Girls allowed me to both reconnect and recharge. Their hugs and laughter were a balm on wounds I’d been trying to doctor on myself and failing at miserably. It was the kind of therapy you can’t pay for and that can only be administered by friends who knew you when.
So, that said, I urge you right now (gentlemen you too) get on the phone, send an email, text, tweet, or FaceBook the friends you’ve been meaning to get in touch with. (If you have to, send them a message on MySpace. Use it as an opportunity to stage an intervention. Friends don’t let friends stay on obsolete social networking sites.)
Yes, I know you’re busy. You’re always busy. What else is new? Seriously, take a minute and make plans to connect with the people who knew you when you were 20 pounds lighter, knew all the latest dances, the lyrics to every song on the radio (yes, children, I said radio), and back when all your emotional baggage could fit into a cute little clutch purse along with your lipstick and drivers license.
And if not for yourself, then do it for your therapist. I’m sure they could use the break. But most of all you should do it because by now you’re old enough to know that we really don’t have all the time in the world. Eat the wings, drink the wine, and Pass the Dutchie ‘pon the left hand side.
Thanks for reading The Urban Erma. You can subscribe to the blogcast (yes, I made up this word) FREE on iTunes. And, in case you were wondering, in addition to blogging I am also an amazing stand-up comedian. I do "Thinking Cap Comedy." Basically, if comedy were music, I'd be Jazz. Want to see a show? Check out my schedule at @ VeryFunnyLady.com.