Sunday, June 14, 2009

My Short List of Supreme Court Nominees

Originally appeared's Team Washington

© 2009 Leighann Lord

When President Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court, it was a proud moment for me as a woman, a New Yorker and a lover of Spanish food. (That’s right. You’ll have to pry the chorizo from my cold dead hand.) But part of me was a little wistful for the candidates who weren’t nominated. My short list included:

Judge Judith Sheindlin
("Judge Judy") - Thoroughly elitist and condescending, I love her for her ability to cut to chase and bring cases to resolution in less than 30 minutes. You have to admire a judge who’s faster than Dominoes.

Vince McMahon (Chairman of the WWE) - If you’d like to see Supreme Court cases decided in classic Smack Down style, McMahon’s your man.

Rod Blagojevich (Former Governor of Illinois) - He’d have the best hair on the bench and would inspire a new reality show: "I’m a Supreme Court Justice, Get Me Out of Here."

Nancy Pelosi (D - Speaker of the House) - Amazing choice if only to rile Republicans and see how many of them spontaneously combust upon hearing the news.

Sarah Palin (Governor of Alaska) - Even better choice to disturb Democrats and see how many of them protest through self immolation.

Al Franken (D - Senator from Minnesota?) - He could put in a long career as a Supreme while waiting to take his seat as a Senator. Bonus: His case could go to the Supreme Court, while he’s on it.

Michelle Obama - Just because. She’d be stunning in a Vera Wang robe.

Anderson Cooper (CNN Anchor) - Nothing wrong with a little judicial eye candy.

Jennifer Love Hewitt (Actress, "Party of Five," "Ghost Whisperer") - She fits nicely into the three name paradigm we’ve come to expect for female Supremes: Sandra Day O’Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

Lindsey Lohan - Although she only has two names her intimate familiarity with the legal system makes her a decent choice.

Naturally the selection of a new Supreme Court judge is very exciting, but when the hoopla dies down the members of the court will most likely go back to laboring in relative obscurity. Studies show that it’s easier for the average American to name the seven dwarfs then the nine justices. I mean who are you without a presence on YouTube, FaceBook and Twitter? Maybe a Supreme Court Reality Show isn’t a bad idea after all. "The Amazing Case" anybody?

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