Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Former Governor Eliot Spitzer: Client Number Nine Takes a Powder

Former Governor Eliot Spitzer: Client Number Nine Takes a Powder
Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

© 2008 Leighann Lord

When Barack Obama called this "the political silly season," he wasn't kidding. The governor of New Jersey resigned for having a homosexual affair. The governor of New York has just resigned for hiring a prostitute. What's the governor of Connecticut going to do, join NAMBLA? That would complete the tri-state trifecta.

My congratulations to the media for at last reporting on a political sex scandal in a timely manner. After the John McCain/lobbyist late breaking story from nine years ago, I had my doubts. Scandal is best served fresh, hot and juicy.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, also known as The Sheriff of Wall Street, has been caught with his pants down in a prostitution ring scandal. Many called for his resignation but some have suggested that his "indiscretion" is a private matter that has nothing to do with his job. I side with the former. If he'll lie to and cheat on his wife, he'll lie to and cheat on his constituents. We expect this from our politicians, all we ask is that we not catch them doing it. Wives, however, sign on with slightly higher expectations.

Which brings me to Silda Spitzer, or as she might prefer to be called at the moment, Silda Wall. I watched the Governor's brief press conference and wondered how she could stand there next to him at the podium. I admired her restraint and the fact that Mr. Spitzer didn't have a mark on him: no black eyes, no frying pan sized bruises, no split lip. I can only hope his shirt and tie covered up red strangulation marks around his neck.

But Mr. Spitzer doesn't just have his wife to answer to, he also has three teenage daughters. Give him hell, Ladies. His wife may some day forgive him, but not his daughters. If I were them I'd never let it go.

"Daddy, can you buy me a car. No? What do you mean no? If you had $80,000 for a Ho, I know you can afford a car." He’s gonna need to find another job quick because this is going to cost him.

This is a complicated (read: hypocritical) issue for me. I didn't have the same urge to call for Bill Clinton's ouster when his libidinous actions came to light. Why? Both men are guilty of adultery. Why isn't it the same? Well, there are differences.

First, Bill didn't break any laws. Second, he didn't pay. He pulled punani on personality. Bill Clinton is a likable guy who could charm the pants of Madeline Albright. (I'm not saying he did. I'm just using grand hyperbole here to prove the point that Bill's got major game.) Bill Clinton's smile lights up a room. Elliot Spitzer's smile gives you the chills and not in a good way.

In dating, politics and scandal, charisma counts. Given Mr. Spitzer's nasty attitude, and bully boy ways, at $5,000 she was underpaid.

For News About Leighann's TV Appearances and Upcoming Live Comedy Shows: Please Join The E-Mail List

No comments: