Grammy's? Missed It

Yes, it's true. I didn’t watch the Grammy Awards last Sunday. Yes, it would have been the comedically responsible thing to do, since award shows can provide a wealth of material. But I didn't watch. I can’t. In junior year of high school I made the mistake of staying up all night to watch the Grammy’s. About an hour in I gave up trying to do my homework on the commercial breaks. I told myself that I’d finish up after the show was over. Yeah, right. Calculus after midnight is a very scary thing. Not one of my wiser moments. Can you guess what happened? Nameless Artist of the Minute gets a Grammy. I got an F. Not cool. Thus, my award show policy: If I’m not nominated, I’m not watching.