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| PHOTO BY BURT SMOOTH |
Last night a man said to me, “You have a very
beautiful forehead.” Those words in that combination were so unexpected that I
wasn’t sure how to respond. I mean, what could I say but thank you? I should’ve
been mildly uncomfortable as the man stood there recklessly eyeballing my
frontal lobe and trying to explain the context for his remark. Admittedly
inebriated, he told me about a study that correlated the shape of a woman’s
forehead with her fertility. Well that makes sense. And it explains all the
imaginary children I have; three daughters and one son. Besides, you know what
they say: big head, big womb.
Honestly, I really did
enjoy the compliment. I have one of those faces that show everything I’m
thinking. My forehead is where you’ll see all my deep thoughts in HD. If I’m
over thinking something it’ll manifest there. My brow has been deeply furrowed
since about the age of five. So Botox for me would be akin to a lobotomy.
It was also nice to get
some forehead love because when I was 18-years old I was in a car accident and
my head had a most unfortunate meeting with the windshield. It was hella
gruesome. At the time the doctors said it would take many surgeries to repair
the damage. Instead, I recovered with bacitracin, cocoa butter, bangs, and
time.
While “beautiful forehead”
is one of the most unique compliments I’ve ever received, what boggles me a bit
more are the angry ones. Sometimes a man will say: “You have very pretty eyes.” And then, perhaps suspecting that he’s not
the first person to ever say this to me, he’ll follow it up with the
accusatory: “You hear that a lot don’t you?”
Um… yes. But I don’t take that
or any compliment for granted. I’ve never forgotten how epically heinous my
puberty years were. Back then comps were a bit thin on the ground. I even appreciate
the street comments I get from sidewalk entrepreneurs: “Hey, Miss Lady, you are
gorgeous!” I smile and say, “Thank you, Sir,” and keep it moving. That’s the key:
smile, approve, and move; unless, of course, you have the time to stand there
and explain why he can’t be your man and you can’t be his Boo.
Knowing
the power of a compliment I don’t hesitate to give one. A kind word can go a
long way. But while we love getting compliments we often don’t know how to
accept them. For some reason a woman’s first response is to reject a compliment
before perhaps accepting it.
“Nice outfit.”
“What? This old thing? Thanks.”
But
this is not a gender-specific quirk. I’ve said, “Nice tie” and seen a man
become flustered and tongue-tied. It’s adorable. I don’t know if the urge to
deny, deflect, or feign unworthiness is some sort of factory-default setting. But
I do know this: Life is short. Take the compliment. Just don’t let it go to
your forehead.
The Urban Erma, the longest running column on StageTimeMagazine.com, was created and written by stand-up comedian Leighann Lord. Listen to the podcast on iTunes and Stitcher Radio. Watch the video edition on YouTube.com. If you enjoy The Urban Erma please leave a comment, Like it on Facebook, follow on Twitter, And share it with your friends. (Share it with people who are not your friends and maybe they will be.) TheUrbanErma@gmail.com Get her free e-books of The Great Spanx Experiment and Sometimes I Wish Facebook Had a Hate Button.
2 comments:
This is a very valuable lesson. I often find myself explaining when someone compliments me. They do not want to know that I snagged my outfit on a super sale. I'm going to practice accepting compliments.
Hey Jocelyn! Thanks for reading. (See what I did there? That's me accepting the compliment!) I have to admit I'm one of those people who WANTS to know where you got your outfit especially if there's a super sale involved. LOL! That could change my plans for the day! :-)
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