Sunday, November 4, 2012

Home for the Hurricane: The Great Bundle Debacle

New York City has been devastated by Hurricane Sandy. There was loss of life, power, and property. Honestly, I really didn’t know it was going to be this bad. It wasn’t the dire warnings of the Weather Channel that finally got through to me. It was when The City suspended parking meters and alternate side of the street parking. That’s a sign of the apocalypse isn’t it? Yeah, it was going to be bad.

As I stocked up on groceries and filled up on gas I began paying more attention to the increasingly urgent news reports. It sounded as though Hurricane Sandy should have been named Hurricane Omar. If you’re a fan of the TV show The Wire, then you know what I’m talking about. “Omar coming!” (If you’re not a fan of the show, do yourself a favor: start with season one – it’s available at the library – and fall deeply in love. It’s one of the most amazing television shows I have ever seen.) But I digress. Hurricane Omar.

As the storm began I felt confidently prepared. I had a bottle of moscato chilling in the fridge. I was texting my friends, surfing the web, and had the TV news on in the background. It was basically all fun and games until my cable went out. I still had power though so I simply began dipping into my DVD collection, which wasn’t as good as I thought it was. I got down to the bootlegs fairly quick and it deteriorated from there.

I found myself watching The Punisher.

To quote a hit song from 90's group, All Saints: “Never ever have I ever felt so low.” It wasn’t the bottom, but I could see it from here.

Kind people would call this an “AHA” moment. Let’s be real and call it a “What the Fuck” moment.

As we go about the arduous task of rebuilding our city and our lives, we’ve got to take the time to reexamine our choices. I didn’t just lose cable. I lost phone and Internet as well. Just like that, in one fell swoop: poof, all gone. And AHA/WTF: maybe bundling isn’t such a good idea. Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t be putting all our eggs in the bundle basket.

Initially, I was dubious but I ignored that inner voice that said, “Boo? Are you sure about this?” Instead, I plunged ahead and now all my stuff is connected in The Cloud: books, movies, music. That means right now, for all practical purposes, my stuff doesn’t even exist. Apparently, The Cloud will not always be there for me. The hard truth here is that on the Rock-Paper-Scissors scale: Hurricane beats Cloud.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to go and watch Cyborg.

Ladies and gentlemen: we have hit bottom.

Thanks for reading The Urban Erma. You can subscribe to the blogcast (yes, I made up this word) FREE on iTunes. And, in case you were wondering, in addition to blogging I am also an amazing stand-up comedian. I do "Thinking Cap Comedy." Basically, if comedy were music, I'd be Jazz. Want to see a show? Check out my schedule at @

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