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| Image courtesy of chokphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
T-Mobile sent this
letter to a man who’s retired, living on fixed income, and has nothing but time
on his hands to fight the good fight. When McDonald’s did away with their “Senior”
coffee my Dad brow beat the manager so badly that my Dad gets free coffee now
whether he wants it or not.
I won’t say that my Dad
tilts at windmills. That would imply that his causes are fruitless. Oh no, he
gets what he aims for, as is he quick to point out with a twinkle is eye whenever
he looks at my Mom. When it comes to getting better customer service my Dad won’t
hesitate to sweetly, but methodically work his way up the food chain until he
gets someone to do the right thing, which — coincidentally — is to make a
decision in his favor. My Dad is a customer service superhero with a jauntily-cocked
hat instead of a cape.
When Time Warner
blithely tacked on yet another extra monthly charge (the disturbingly familiar
$3.95) to his already astronomical cable bill, my Dad made a phone call. In that
grand, expansive, long-suffering story telling style that only older folks seem
to have, my Dad pointed out many things including the fact that he’d been with
the company so long, they should be paying him for his years of loyalty. When
he was done, his bill had been cut by one third, with no corresponding cut in
service.
Clearly McDonald’s and
Time Warner had not forewarned T-Mobile.
I’m sure they’ve gotten
away with strong-arming customers into giving up paper or paying the price
under the guise of going green, but they didn’t take into account seniors who
may or may not be computer savvy, but who would definitely resent being forced into
printing out their own bills because they read every page with the
meticulousness of an IRS auditor. Let’s face it, if you’re with T-Mobile — as opposed
to say Verizon — you’re not exactly ballin’ on the cell phone front. You’re one
step up from a no-credit-check, pre-paid plan, so every penny counts.
T-Mobile didn’t take
into account my Dad.
Ironically, my Dad, who
for years has been My Tech Guy, is not a cell phone guy. He doesn’t have a
smart phone because he doesn’t want one. He doesn’t take pictures and to paraphrase
the lead character in the movie Machete:
“Daddy don’t text.”
“I just want a phone to say ‘hello and goodbye,’” he says. And I guess
that would be true if my Dad actually remembered to turn his cell phone on. And
when it is on, he doesn’t answer it because he doesn’t hear it ringing. Most of
my calls to my Dad go straight to his voicemail. He's got messages on there from
2008. I know that because I called him back then to say Obama won the election,
and he never got it.
So now, when my Dad goes
out I just remind him to turn his cell phone off. And if by some random chance
his phone is on and he does answer it, I tell him to hang up and not call me
back. It’s possible I’d have better luck reaching my Dad by calling a pay phone
he just happened to be walking by. He’ll answer those. Don’t ask me why. I
guess he knows I’m trying to call him.
All this to say that the
ultimate trump card a customer has is the ability and the willingness to walk
away. And although my Dad played the “shame-on-you-for-hatin’-on-old-people
card,” and got T-Mobile to continue paper billing without a fee, my Dad still
took his business elsewhere.
There are a plethora of
services now — AARP chief among them — that offers a low, fixed-rate,
feature-deficit device that appeals to folks who don’t want a phone smarter
than they are. One of my favorite jokes in my stand-up comedy show is:
“My Dad has that cell phone that they only make for old people. It only has three numbers on it: 9-1-1.”
I only wish this phone was smart enough to turn itself on. Pay phones, like my Dad, are old, rare, and precious.
Thanks for reading The Urban Erma. You can subscribe to the blogcast (yes, I made up this word) FREE on iTunes. And, in case you were wondering, in addition to blogging I am also an amazing stand-up comedian. I do "Thinking Cap Comedy." Basically, if comedy were music, I'd be Jazz. Want to see a show? Check out my schedule at @ VeryFunnyLady.com. 
1 comment:
I was a union delegate for many years before I retired and I had to suffer through countless "grand, expansive, long-suffering story telling styles that only older folks seem to have"....and while patiently waiting to hear what the actual grievance was, I silently vowed to keep my stories short and sweet in my old age. Well here I am, smack dab in the middle of the old age category and damned if I dont catch myself doing the same thing(the last sentence and this one is a prime example); somebody ought to do a study about it....in the meantime youngsters and senior alike can read this blog and laugh at the truth of it all. Well done, Ms Lord. @devilinablue
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