Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Anthony Weiner, Show Us Your Stimulus Package!

Ok, America, we need to put this Anthony Weiner thing into perspective. Yes, he lied. All politicians lie. People lie. Let he who is without a social media networking presence or a camera on their cell phone cast the first stone. But in the middle of the hoopla, let us not lose sight of what’s important. Money.

Should Anthony Weiner resign? No. Have you taken a good look at congress lately? We can’t afford to lose one of the cute ones. The worse the socio-economic climate becomes, the more good looking the people have to be who give us the sound bytes downplaying it. That’s why on-camera news people tend to be unnaturally attractive. Their beauty is the necessary distraction that ameliorates our national pain. It just feels better when Anderson Cooper tells me we’re at war, my investments are worthless and a mini ice age is coming because of global warming ... back in a minute.

To that end, we have an opportunity here. We can either banish Anthony Weiner to the obscurity of political scandal or we can make it work for us. Congressmen sell themselves all the time to corporations and special interests to fund their political campaigns and pet projects. Why not sell something where the proceeds can be put to good use for the American people?

I propose a calendar: The Hot Men & Women of the Hill. It’s time. You know it is. Take all the cell phone, underwear pictures you want in the congressional gym at taxpayer expense, just make the best one Mr. May, get 11 other elected officials to do the same and sell it on E-Bay. (Craig’s List would feel too unseemly and Amazon has higher standards than a congressional ethics committee.)

Maybe during election season, instead of mud slinging we’ll be treated to full contact mud wrestling. A politician truly committed to economic recovery will release a sex tape – practicing safe sex, of course, because we have to be responsible and think of the kids. Why not? It’s only fitting, they’ve been screwing us for years. It would be nice to see it coming for a change. C’mon Congress, America needs money! Be real patriots and show us your stimulus package!

Join The Urban Erma on Facebook or follow on Twitter. You can listen to the podcast on Podbean or subscribe on iTunes. Leighann Lord is a stand-up comedian, who's style is best described as "Thinking Cap Comedy." If comedy were music, she'd be Jazz. Check out her upcoming shows @ www.VeryFunnyLady.com. Join her on FaceBook. Follow her on Twitter.

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