Monday, March 19, 2007

My Dog Drank My Coffee!

Next Stop Starbucks?

I was sitting on the couch working on my laptop, my coffee cup by my feet on the floor, my dog – a grumpy cocker spaniel named, Rolie - asleep in his bed. Sleeping is his talent. That’s what he does. He’ll be fast asleep in his bed, wake up suddenly, as if late for an appointment, and dash down the hallway to go sleep on the rug in the bathroom. That is how he spends his days, taking a sleeping tour of the house with breaks to eat, go for walks and frequent tummy rubs from those of us who are lucky enough to be in his service.

If he has any vices at all it’s the garbage. Rolie can’t resist digging through a garbage bag when the opportunity presents itself. He’s well fed – our trainer thinks he’s a little over weight and could stand to go on a diet – but the sight of an unattended garbage bag is irresistible to him. He tears into it like the media into Britney Spears’ personal life.

Rolie is the reason we replaced all of our plastic open top garbage cans with metal cans that you have to step on to open. I sometimes see him staring wistfully at the kitchen garbage can. That is his favorite. But Cocker Spaniels are frighteningly smart dogs and I wouldn’t be surprised if what I take for simple reminiscence is really him plotting on how to open the can.

That would explain why he’s not losing any weight. He’s keeping on the extra pounds to aid him in is garbage quest. He’s probably got a goal weight that will allow him to open the can with his back paws, while sifting through the remnants of last night’s dinner with his front.

But other than the garbage, he’s a sweet little dog. So I never thought twice when I got up to go to bathroom. When I returned, my plan was to heat up my coffee and get back to work. I returned however to an empty cup. Not only was it empty, it was bone dry, with a ring of incriminating fur around the top. "Rolie!" I turned and of course the thieving cur was no longer in his bed. Rolie rolled me and then rolled out.

He drank a half of a cup of coffee, and not just any old coffee. It was a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee, that sells for about $50 a pound! The beast has slurped down a $7 cup of coffee. Perhaps he knew the value of it, since he didn’t spill a drop and left nothing in the cup but his fur and my spoon. I was angry, impressed, and a little nervous. A Cocker Spaniel on caffeine?
Excuse me while I lock up the garbage cans and call the vet.

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